Farewell, Dear Love

A certain somebody has his birthday tomorrow and I'm not sure if I should make a call. You see we haven't talked in while and I am actually considering the possibility that he might have sort of forgotten about me. I mean we both moved on and burnt the bridges but for some reason I still think about him every now and then. I know its stupid to dwell upon your past but I just spent the entire day trying to think of a less-than-awkward birthday wish which brings me to wondering how some people always stay  in your life long after the final link between both of you has snapped.

Broken Doll

I am always fascinated by pale faced, ghost like kids roaming around in nooks and corners of their house, dragging a broken doll behind them. Actually I have been there, as a kid. When my favorite doll broke, I used to drag it around the house trying to find a way to fix it even when I knew it was damaged beyond repair. I just couldn't let go. Even when it was all rags and the cotton stuffing was falling out from a hole which was once attached to its arm.

Remembering Him

Remembering him comes in flashback and echos, I tell myself its time now, gotta let go

The Silent Killer

Sadness is like a silent killer. You'll know it's there and even though it won't cause you any physical pain, you'll be dying on the inside and then one day it will take over you completely till there's nothing left anymore to be happy about.

I have been there and in fact, at some point of time in their lives, everyone has or will have to. I mean I look at people around me and I see them crying over stupid things and it suddenly makes me feel as if I'm the strongest person considering the fact that I never cry, no matter what. But I have realized that every person has a different way of being sad. Of saying goodbye. Of letting go.

Dear John

Blogger's Note: I'm really sorry for the delay but I was really busy in the past two months so I couldn't write at all. I'll try to get regular and post more often. I'm sorry for also not replying to all your e-mails. My inbox is practically flooded with them. I'll try and reply soon but it's gonna take some time.

Disclaimer: This letter is an extract from the collection of letters I never sent. I know writing letters in twenty-first century seems stupid but this is one thing which I take comfort in. I usually write my feeling or things that I want to say but I don't in letters and keep them in a box, under my bed. I am posting this letter because it means a lot to me. The name of the recipient in the following letter has been changed to John.

Doors to Close

You know, sometimes after moving far ahead in your life, you feel like you have left something or someone behind. An open door which is supposed to be closed and the problem is that it isn't. We all have these invisible doors in our heads that we leave open for someone or something that is out of  our reach. No matter how far we go, we still cant help but look behind hoping, that someone just walks in through that door. We walk away from someone in the process of moving on but still leave that door open, in hope of getting them back. And with that open door, we leave a part of us behind, standing in front of that door, waiting.

One Last Time

I know, it's the Valentine's day and I shouldn't be posting stuff like this but who cares?
You don't know when its the last time you're seeing someone. You don't know when its the last time you're seeing them smile or hearing their voice. You don't know when its the last time you're looking into their eyes and considering yourself lucky to be a part of their life. But when they are gone? That is all you can think about. 

As I've mentioned before, life is very unexpected and it surprises you all the time and today I watched it happen to me. I saw life turn in a way which made me rethink every possibility.

Memories of Glass

A few days ago, I used to wish that there was a thing called "brain transplantation" through which I could erase some specific memories. Not that I hated those memories but it was just hurting way too much to remember how perfect something used to be before it got ruined. You cant count me in the people who say stuff like- "Don't be sad that it ended, be happy that it happened". Its serious shit and trust me, I'm not much of a positive thinker. I don't think that looking at a messed up thing and being happy because it was beautiful before can practically be done. Its stupid and impossible.

Strings Attached

Goodbyes can just fuck off because I hate them. They are like a flyleaf of a novel with a sad beautiful tragic ending. The last empty page which keeps reminding me that there is nothing more. Its where  I wish the story would've ended differently or maybe gone on forever. Or maybe the book could have a sequel  .But sadly goodbyes are forever.They're like synonyms to the word "The  End". I can say goodbye to people and things but never to the memories they leave me with. To the little things I want to relive everyday without knowing that its all gonna end someday. Maybe that's why I hate goodbyes.

Sweet Time Erasing You

In dreams, I meet you in warm conversations, we both wake in lonely beds, different cities. And time is taking its sweet time erasing you

I Almost Do

It takes everything in me not to call you
and I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every-time I don't
I almost do

Bittersweet

Have you ever felt like wanting the same thing you're running from? Have you ever held on to something which is long gone? Have you ever tried to preserve something which had decayed long ago? Have you ever felt that you are taking more than you can get? And you still follow it. You feel guilty when you want it and it chases you if you run from it. That feeling is bittersweet. Its not wrong but its not right either. Its not even something in-between wrong and right. Its just both at the same time. I have heard that we should never blame anyone in our lives because everyone leave us with something to hold on to.

Lets not call it 'Love'

What's so scary when someone starts treating you special?
It's when you get used to it
and you can no longer get it out of your system.
So before it's too late,
you have to set your mind
that sweet gestures are never guarantees.

That is exactly my point but its better explained in form of an incident that once happened. So there was this guy who was looking for something serious and he really liked this girl. That girl was really nice and she treated that guy well and they were good friends but she never really had any feelings for him. The guy was not really perfect (i mean obviously!) and had an image of a pervert. He tried very hard to get this girl to go out with him but it never really happened and there was a time when he was fighting hard to stay friends with her. Out of all this what I realized was that this girl, she never really deserved him. Because she only saw him as a nerd-ish pervert and truthfully he was so much more than that. She just didn't see what was beyond his pervert image.