True or False?

I have this terrible habit of overthinking the past. I take each memory, scrutinize it in my head, turning it over a like a coin between my fingers. I wonder if my memories are as real and just to the truth, as they feel to me. I wonder if there are details that I have chosen to brush over. Or if I have glossed over things that were normally lackluster. I wonder if my mind plays tricks, deludes me into seeing things my way, for better or for worse.  What if there is no 'absolute truth'? What if what we remember becomes our truth, despite being far from reality? What if our memories are nothing but a version of the truth that we choose to believe?

Pain and Things I Can't Explain

I am a curious kind of a person and  I often like to ask questions that have no answers. I know it sounds peculiar, but I'll give you an example. So, can you define time? 

For a second there, you might have felt confident, since time feels like something everyone knows like the back of their hands. Never the less,  you might not have come up with a concrete answer. The entire concept of time is as entangled as anything can get.  Even as you try to unravel it in order to find answers, you only end up with more questions and more knots. The fluidity of a simple word with no meaning, yet with a presence that can impact you in a profound manner, is confusing at its best and frustrating at its worst. 

A similar concept is that of Pain and Loss.

Unwitting Happiness

I am going through a rough patch in life right now. Things don't seem to go my way, a lot has changed, pieces don't fall in to place like they used to and over all I feel as if I'm hanging off a cliff.  So, only recently, I started writing a journal. Partly because I wanted to document my feelings but mostly because I needed an outlet for my growing frustration with everything around me.  

And now a month later, when I sat down to read my initial entries, I have come across a startling realization. 

Fragile Line

The Pawn

I started playing chess a couple of years ago but then completely abandoned it. Only recently, I picked it up again like a bad habit and realized something. So here's a thing about chess- collateral damage is inevitable. You can't expect to win the game with all your pieces intact. So chess is fundamentally the art of sacrificing the right piece at the right time just so at the end of the game, the king takes the glory for doing absolutely nothing at all.   

For a Change

So Hey!

I know that I've been irregular in writing stuff these days but its because I'm planning something big. But you'll have to wait for it.

However in the mean time, I have some news to tell you all.

String by String

I was reading up this particular paradox the other day. It said that in every seven years, every cell of the human body gets replaced by a new one. The question is, if each and every cell in our body is changed to new in a lap of seven years and we physically become a new person then how can we say that we are still ourselves? How can we call us by our birth names, when in fact that body no longer exists. 

Falling to peices

Cause love doesn't hurt so i know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces  

Bursting Bubbles

Recently, I was wondering how it'd be like to live in a bubble. I know it's weird, but then its me, so I can't exactly help myself. Anyway, I started imagining the whole thing. Living in a protective world, away from all the danger and ruthless people, floating lightly and peacefully around. But then it occurred to me, that we all do live in a bubble. A bubble of lies, built to protect us from the harsh realities of this world.

Tiny Little Bottles

I believe that memories are like little perfume bottles stored in our mind. Each having a distinct fragrance, color and effect. Even after a long time has passed, you just need the tiniest rippled to cause a flood, bringing in these distinct feelings and fragrances gushing into your mind. But these floods sometimes cause a little damage. They remind you of better times which make you nostalgic. Or the stormy days that make you wonder how you survived. Each little bottle has its own significance.

Wine-Stained

So I have a question. What happens if if you spill your drink over your favorite white dress? Its ruined forever and you can never wear it again. You tell yourself that you should've been more careful and little less clumsy. But whatever you say or what ever you do that stain's never gonna come off once it dries. You'll never be able to wear it again. I often find myself in such situations and its not always a dress that gets ruined.

Fairy Tale Undone

We all grow up listening to fairy-tales. With their, twisted fates, evil stepmothers, dark curses and impossible dreams turning into sparkly dresses, charming princes, fairy-godmothers and the true love's kiss to fix everything in the end. These simple stories bring us impossible hope. And hopeless little girls grow up dreaming of perfect happy endings. 

But I wonder if Happy-Endings do exist or if fairy-tales are just sad lies?

Flames to Embers

So, yesterday I went to this bonfire party with my friends. And after everybody had left, I stayed to get some alone time. You see, I was having a tough week because last Monday, the universe suddenly decided that it hated me and started to conspire against me. Hence my state of mind. This time I was pretty sure that I wouldn't recover so I sat alone, in  front of the restless flames, feeling as if nothing was going to be okay ever again. As I sat there, hopelessly pondering, the fire started to die. And as I saw the flames turn to embers, something occurred to me.

The Broken Ones

Why do bad things happen to good people? This one question has bothered me for a very long time and I have managed to receive nothing but vague and senseless explanations from everyone. I even googled it with zero success. Most of the stuff that I came across was extreme form of spiritual bullshit or stories of failed suicide attempts meant to make people feel better. It's fine if bad things happen to those who deserve them. They sort of have it coming but I particularly cannot understand why people, who have been nothing but good, get screwed over by destiny. 

Here's to Comebacks

You know that feeling that you get when someone tells you that you're not good enough. Or that you can't do something? I felt that way last year when an asshole totally underestimated me. Fine, I agree that I did give him a reason to say so, but let me tell you, that no one gets to tell me what I can or cannot do and no one gets judge me especially when they don't know me. And I think that particular thing is true for all of us. We shouldn't let others dictate our boundaries.

Farewell, Dear Love

A certain somebody has his birthday tomorrow and I'm not sure if I should make a call. You see we haven't talked in while and I am actually considering the possibility that he might have sort of forgotten about me. I mean we both moved on and burnt the bridges but for some reason I still think about him every now and then. I know its stupid to dwell upon your past but I just spent the entire day trying to think of a less-than-awkward birthday wish which brings me to wondering how some people always stay  in your life long after the final link between both of you has snapped.

Valentine's Day Playlist

Okay, so its Valentine's Day and I'm single so I'm totally gonna sit all day, watch Rom-coms and listen to my cheesy V-Day love playlist. I started wondering if you guys would like to have a look at my playlist too. So here are my top 10 favorite love songs along with the cover arts I designed just for fun. Here you go.

Cars on a Cable

You cant jump the track, We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table

Fuck Do-overs!

Sometimes I wonder if we really do get second chances. I mean people say that its never too late to make things alright but I don't understand how any of that is even possible. You can't reverse the time and change things. You cant take back the words that you have already said. You cant work hard for a test you have already failed. And you cant undo your mistakes no matter how much you want to. Thats why I believe that we don't, after all, get second chances in life.

Prince on a White Horse

I am officially tired of those girls who talk about princes on white horse. They think that someday a guy will walk into their lives out of nowhere, change everything and turn their lives into a fairytale with a cheesy happy-ending. Call me cynical, but I think its really stupid and delusional of a person to believe something like that. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you cant find your soul mate who will someday make you happy. All I'm saying is, that if you want to change your life or be happier, you'll have to do it yourself.