Doors to Close

You know, sometimes after moving far ahead in your life, you feel like you have left something or someone behind. An open door which is supposed to be closed and the problem is that it isn't. We all have these invisible doors in our heads that we leave open for someone or something that is out of  our reach. No matter how far we go, we still cant help but look behind hoping, that someone just walks in through that door. We walk away from someone in the process of moving on but still leave that door open, in hope of getting them back. And with that open door, we leave a part of us behind, standing in front of that door, waiting.

A little while ago, I tried to close one such door. I had tried to close it many times before but always ended up opening it again. I wanted it closed, forever. Though I ended up disappointed. I don't know what I expected, but what I got was definitely not it. I don't know if I closed that door. I don't know if I have stopped waiting. I don't even know why it matters after such a long time. But somehow this thing is crushing my heart, a bit more with every passing moment of my life. The bruises have faded but this scar has remained, reminding me of the pain which once existed and in a way, still does.

So here I am, staring at that door again. Wondering, if I will ever be able to gather enough courage to walk away. Wondering, if I'll ever be brave enough to close it again, without touching those memories that have got enough of me to break my heart. Wondering, if I will ever stop wishing upon a shooting star hoping someday things will change. All I can do here is wonder...