Uninspired Skygazing

So there is another of my old forgotten habit. Just something I used to do as a kid and it's called skygazing. Yeah, I know it is a bit right-out-of-the-chick-flick type but I don't mind. I kinda love staring into the sky and imagining clouds to be angel hair or ice-cream castles. So the other day I was skygazing and turns out, I could no longer picture candy clouds or ice-cream castles. All the clouds just looked like extra large popcorns to me. I know that it shouldn't have been a big deal but loosing my old creative kid self was kind of a slap of reality on my face.

You see I don't have much time left as a teenager.  It's probably just a little time before I become an adult who is supposed to face the outside world which seems horrifying right now. Sometimes I just don't feel like growing up because growing up means that I'll have to loose my care free life and I'll be another uninspired zombie with no creativity. It's as if I'm losing my curiosity and my innocence. That's why the whole sky gazing thing was bugging me.

I like to sing but these days it feels like I'm just working too hard to get it right that I no longer seem to enjoy it. It's as if I'm singing only for the sake of impressing people. I hate this. I hate growing up and I wish  I could just stop the time and be the innocent girl I once was who believed in everything. 

I'm looking out of the window at this moment and skygazing again. Somehow the fact that I compared clouds with over sized popcorns is making me laugh (You have to admit, it's a bit weird). But the thing is that I may have grown up but that innocent girl is still somewhere inside of me because comparing clouds with oversized popcorns is a tiny little bit creative. What I have just realized is that just because you'll have to grow up someday doesn't means you'll also have to give up your innocence to the racing time  and become one of those zombies. So this time, I'll try to sing for myself and not care if I accidentally burst somebody's ear drums. I'll do stuff for myself and not for others because I would never stop being the innocent kid girl I miss so much and because she'll always be somewhere in me. Maybe she'll feel suffocated at times but I'll make sure she survives, because no matter how fast your life is, you still have some time for sky gazing.